My Transformation

YouSoWould and Robert Koch (30DaysToX) recently posted about being less-than-perfect and socially unconventional in their early years.

This is something I can identify with; I wasn’t exactly top dog in grade school. I only really started to gain traction in Grade 12. Before then, I was a social klutz. It’s actually embarrassing to recall how beta some of the shit I did was.

All I can do now is try and redeem myself. So far so good.

But just to remind myself how far I’ve come (and hopefully inspire people new to this shit) I want to go back to the very beginning.

Grade One: I make a card for a girl, asking her to be my girlfriend. She never responds. I pine for her endlessly until I switch schools at the end of the year.

Grade Two: I’m in love with a family friend. This is unrequited love at its worst – she wants nothing to do with me. I buy her little trinkets and do innocent things like that. She likes someone else.

Grade Three: A girl from school has what can only be described as an obsession with me. We ride the same bus and she’s always trying to kiss me and shit but I’m not interested. I didn’t like her.

Grade Four: International school, first year. I’m emotionally bullied by this shithead and his friend. We get along sometimes but get into scrapes. That’s not even the worst of it. I have a new oneitis. We’re in Science Club together and every week I buy her a milkshake from the cafeteria. I still laugh my ass off when I think about this, I fucking sucked! Gold diggin’ hoes.

Grade Seven: I start carving out a niche for myself as a gamer and all-around smart kid. I liked school and learning interesting new shit. I make actual friends with relevant interests and play Counter Strike: Source all day after school. I eventually join up with a clan and we become the #1 clan in Asia. This gaming fixation goes on through high school. I’m still pretty withdrawn and shy; I’m only just starting to experiment with girls and teasing them and shit, should I talk to them at all. A new girl joins my class – I fall in love again. She’s one of the prettier girls – and with 300 people per grade at this school there’s plenty of cute ones. She definitely has a crush on me too, but I’m too fucking oblivious to realize it. She’s always touching me, poking me, teasing me. She dates a natural alpha but has eyes for me the whole time – every time we’re in the same room we stare at each other. I don’t do anything about it. Still haven’t.

Grade Eight: My fixation with oneitis continues, but I pay attention to other girls too. One of my best friends has an on-off/friendzone thing with his friend’s ex-girlfriend. Weird situation, won’t bore you with the details. We start hanging out with her and her friends. I get my first taste of drama and my first concrete real girlfriend. She’s a Youth Olympics figure skater who just throws herself at me. In hindsight, I did pretty good. We start dating after a trip to Thailand where we spend a decent amount of time together. What’s key is that I don’t smother her or act beta! I’m starting to get it! I would jog five minutes to her house and we’d stroll around our neighborhood, kissing and shit. We last a fair while – about 3 months (?) but she’s a little crazy and shit tests me all the time. Unknowingly, I do exactly the right thing and IGNORE them. Eventually, we fall through and I go back to my nerdy all-male group of friends, who are apprehensive after I spent every lunch with my girlfriend and best friend.

Grade Nine: I’m back in Canada at a private school, bitter after leaving Asia. It’s clear to everyone that I don’t want to be here and act like I’m better than everyone. I was just the weird new kid. I pursue a blonde dancer, who’s dating one of the more alpha guys in the grade. He’s now one of my best friends. Nothing comes of it, I get friendzoned. I game another girl who’s more in my league. She has huge tits – works for me. We talk a lot of Facebook and the group of misfits I hang out with all are obsessed with her. I keep it low-key, and she starts to like me. I catch on and realize I’ve successfully attracted her before dickishly and indirectly rejecting her. I still don’t know why I did it – I didn’t have any other prospects but I feel like it would’ve cramped my style. Lol.

Grade Ten: After a summer working at a huge annual fair I meet a TON of new girls. Some of them are foxy, but they’re the typical bitchy high school hotties who don’t put up with beta shit. I’m left with a few fairly attractive girls worth chasing. One of them is a horse rider who’s really feeling me. I get her number and we text – we get into sexting and for the first few weeks she likes it, but I get all thirsty-beta on her and it puts her off. At the same time, I get a hot Swedish girlfriend named Morgan. She’s a year older and parties hard – I lose my virginity to her in the back of a pickup truck. How the fuck this happened, I still don’t know. I dump her before New Years because I get bored. Lol. HorseGirl gets wind of all this and starts feeling me again – I skip class to go hang out with her sometimes. We hook up throughout Grade 10 and 11 but I never fuck her.

Grade Eleven: I stop giving a fuck. I start hitting the gym and the noob gains are getting me attention. I hook up with the school slut but don’t fuck her either, I don’t find her attractive. Word gets around among a few of the girls at school but it never becomes full-blown gossip. They give me shit for it and I go beta. Fuck. I call out one of the ‘cool guys’ over some petty beef – we’ve butted heads before. He has a nickname referring to his tiny penis – I call him out across the halls. He’s furious and pulls the typical ‘no one likes you, you have no friends’ bullshit. I systematically riposte and destroy him – his friends gain respect for me as someone to not fuck with. I later hear he wants to fight – his own friends told him he had no chance. I become a lone wolf of sorts, but still associate with the cool guys, party with them and such. I do a whole bunch of stupid shit because I just don’t care, and become a local phenomenon in the process. I asked a girl out in the halls one day, just for shiggles; another dancer. She’s ice-cold; I can tell she’s interested but doesn’t really understand male-female dynamics. I move on. My new crew and I have a crazy summer; I’m ready to go all-out. That family friend from Grade Two wants to fuck – this becomes apparent after I sleep over at hers due to some family stuff. Nothing happens – I just missed the covert communication.

Grade Twelve: I am a ticking time bomb, prepared to go off at anytime. I’m making crazy gains in the gym; I’m seriously the biggest guy in the grade. A trio of girls ask to touch my chest and biceps at a barbeque while I’m chillin’ with one of my newly-reformed, fresh Red Pill recruit friends. We laugh it off but I start to realize what’s going on. I’m making my mark. My demeanor is mysterious and no-bullshit, my attitude is perfect aloof alpha, minus all the experience the naturals have. I am an enigma. I stumble across RSD and Heartiste – I do my best to apply my minimal understanding of alphadom. I spend my days working out, smoking weed with BlondeDancer‘s ex-boyfriend, drinking, putting off homework and partying my ass off. I ride the wave my lifestyle has created for me. Girls are intrigued and eye-fuck me in the hallway; I don’t take shit from teachers and get kicked out of class. Chemistry is a joke – I have no idea what I’m doing so I just troll the teacher and cause havoc and hilarity. That class is wrapped around my finger. My transformation is really kicking off. Girls go on the backburner and I focus on improving myself. Come Prom, I am a celibate monk and don’t give a fuck. I don’t intend on taking anyone and my friends are all with me. Surprise surprise, they don’t stick to their guns and take girls as ‘friends’. Guess how that turns out.

I cultivate a prior interest, a decent Eastern European girl with a killer body.

I tell her I’ll take her to grad, since she doesn’t have a date. She is ecstatic. This girl is rich, shapely, chased by several men and doesn’t take second-rate bullshit. We see each other for the last two months of school. She’s my sugar mama – she spends hundreds of dollars at the restaurant getting me drunk and then I fuck her brains out. This is a regular occurrence. Come grad, it’s a given – we’re an item. The banquet is just a formality – I leave early to get changed and predrink for aftergrad. We’re partying in the middle of a field, pitching tents and shit for the afterparty. Everyone’s getting wasted, I’m getting high with my buddies, girls are talking about me, my date’s constantly trying to get me alone… Everything is going perfectly. I almost get in trouble with the cops because the ‘chaperones’, the landowners, see me blazing out of a tomahawk pipe; turns out they only hired rent-a-cops. I don’t give them shit and tell them to fuck off, in plain sight of everyone. By now everyone’s fucking trashed and everything’s winding down. I get a nightcap with the homies, a shot of Jager, and then my date leads me off to my tent. I rawdog her like an animal and everyone hears us. I’m the only person who got laid that night; everyone else was either dateless, with a ‘friend’ or too pussy to make a move. I bust inside her, roll over and fall asleep. Come morning, we see each other off and I prepare for my GRAD TRIP. But that week deserve another post at least – that’s where shit REALLY ramped up.

I recapped this for myself more than anything, but the nature of the manosphere makes me feel like this is worth sharing. There’s plenty more Red Pill success stories out there. And after seeing how far I’ve come in just a year of seriously applying myself, I get more and more excited for whatever’s coming next. I’m ready to kill it in all aspects of life, after living most of my life barely even half awake. Fuck mediocrity. I won’t settle for anything less than year after year of great memories. I’ve finally been fed the red pill and one of them isn’t enough. A dose of reality is like heroin.

If you haven’t fully woken up yet, what are you waiting for? The sooner you start the better. Get out there and live the life you want, not the one you’re given.